1 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,833 ...to remember a friend which is no longer there. 2 00:00:35,039 --> 00:00:39,157 A model employee obedient, modest... 3 00:00:39,358 --> 00:00:43,112 ...faithful, humble, resigned... 4 00:00:43,317 --> 00:00:47,150 ...colorless' servile. 5 00:00:47,355 --> 00:00:51,588 Voted for slavery to sacrifice. 6 00:00:51,795 --> 00:00:56,868 An authentically mediocre being. 7 00:00:57,074 --> 00:01:00,065 Perhaps the best of all of us. 8 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:05,350 It survived for 40 years... 9 00:01:05,552 --> 00:01:10,021 ...to the difficult role vice last wheel of the wagon... 10 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:14,103 ...in the Flattery office. 11 00:01:14,630 --> 00:01:20,704 I remember the day when we retired together... 12 00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:26,140 - Quick, it's late. After I have a wedding. - Hurry up! 13 00:01:27,946 --> 00:01:30,096 - Conclude. - Yes. 14 00:01:31,785 --> 00:01:36,096 We will never forget you dear... 15 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,572 Dear... Dear? 16 00:01:39,823 --> 00:01:45,773 -Actually I... -Are you asking me? - What was his name? - I do not know. 17 00:01:46,461 --> 00:01:51,489 - Someone look at the name on the cash register. -Do you want... 18 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:54,619 -VADl. - His name was... 19 00:02:00,298 --> 00:02:04,973 - Fonelli! - We won't forget you dear Fonelli! 20 00:02:05,216 --> 00:02:09,289 - Shall we bury this too? - I'm not ready yet. 21 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:14,649 Then get up and help us. Let's take the coffin away. 22 00:02:15,694 --> 00:02:17,685 Hurry. 23 00:02:20,414 --> 00:02:22,404 Ready to go. 24 00:02:26,011 --> 00:02:31,801 The handles are for beauty! Carry it on your shoulder. 25 00:02:33,410 --> 00:02:36,401 FUNERAL MARCH 26 00:02:40,888 --> 00:02:43,879 WEDDING MARCH 27 00:02:51,086 --> 00:02:54,680 - Best wishes, miss. - Condolences. 28 00:02:56,845 --> 00:03:00,200 - Condolences. - Best wishes to the bride. 29 00:03:00,404 --> 00:03:03,395 - Deepest condolences. -Congratulations ! 30 00:03:03,603 --> 00:03:06,321 Permit. Congratulations. 31 00:03:11,721 --> 00:03:15,714 - Another one of us who's gone. -How old was he? 32 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,792 - Our age. We are peers. - You are the same age! 33 00:03:19,998 --> 00:03:26,596 - Among us there is a generation. - Silvani is a retired baby. 34 00:03:26,797 --> 00:03:32,428 - Don't exaggerate! - The peer had cholesterol and high blood pressure? 35 00:03:32,676 --> 00:03:37,191 Fantozzi asked the widow. 36 00:03:37,394 --> 00:03:40,829 - Why me? - You are the most at risk. 37 00:03:41,033 --> 00:03:44,503 -VADl. It affects everyone. - Is he more at risk? 38 00:03:44,753 --> 00:03:46,743 -VADl. - One moment. 39 00:03:53,791 --> 00:04:00,229 Ma'am, I'm heartbroken. To remember it better... 40 00:04:00,429 --> 00:04:03,978 - How much blood pressure did you have? - More than 2OO. 41 00:04:04,228 --> 00:04:06,185 More than 2OO! 42 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,816 Hurray! I have 160! 43 00:04:09,027 --> 00:04:12,621 Excuse me. How much cholesterol was it? 44 00:04:12,826 --> 00:04:14,975 Over 600. 45 00:04:15,185 --> 00:04:20,178 - Over 600! -So she wanted it. 46 00:04:23,103 --> 00:04:26,300 Condolences. Ah! Ah! 47 00:04:26,503 --> 00:04:28,652 Convey... Ah! Ah! 48 00:04:29,862 --> 00:04:34,491 - Guys, see you! - Where can I see her? 49 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:39,250 At the next funeral. Who knows whose turn it is! 50 00:04:42,698 --> 00:04:47,249 It's not up to me! I have a nice program. 51 00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:52,405 Healthy 35 kilometer ride and invigorating hydromassage. 52 00:04:52,856 --> 00:04:58,247 For lunch a juice of celery and carrots. 53 00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:03,565 -It's not up to me! - She dropped her... 54 00:05:03,813 --> 00:05:06,202 To the Bersaglieri! 55 00:05:06,453 --> 00:05:08,171 > Ahh! 56 00:05:08,972 --> 00:05:10,962 VIOLENT IMPACT 57 00:05:37,765 --> 00:05:39,358 Olė! 58 00:05:53,081 --> 00:05:57,278 - But wasn't it supposed to be her? - Why ? 59 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:02,639 I had even written two words suitable for her. 60 00:06:03,958 --> 00:06:06,711 I read them at home. 61 00:06:06,958 --> 00:06:11,235 - I'll save them for when... - No! Thank you. 62 00:06:11,477 --> 00:06:13,467 As you wish. 63 00:06:21,234 --> 00:06:23,305 There's no one left. 64 00:06:26,114 --> 00:06:28,103 Ouch! 65 00:06:54,306 --> 00:06:57,661 They don't even respect death! 66 00:06:57,905 --> 00:07:00,942 None of them do shit! 67 00:07:01,184 --> 00:07:07,293 They get up at noon and have lunch they take a nap at their mother's... 68 00:07:07,543 --> 00:07:12,742 ...and they "fuck" those girls with those nipples! 69 00:07:12,981 --> 00:07:16,814 Then they "dump" them at the bar like hunting trophies. 70 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:21,332 Instead we are condemned to emptiness of our gray lives... 71 00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:23,530 ...without nipples and without trophies. 72 00:07:23,739 --> 00:07:27,254 How do they buy the Porsche without working? 73 00:07:27,498 --> 00:07:30,808 - Are you kidding me? - No. 74 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:34,896 - STRUPPRl drug... - What? - STRIPPl. 75 00:07:35,976 --> 00:07:40,173 Robberies. I do for these people RESET... 76 00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:43,643 REPRITNISTR... 77 00:07:45,094 --> 00:07:49,325 - I would bring back the death penalty. - Right. Even torture. 78 00:07:49,532 --> 00:07:52,762 Even torture for robberies. Ohh! 79 00:07:54,851 --> 00:08:00,368 Accountant' wouldn't you do a robbery? 80 00:08:05,329 --> 00:08:07,717 "Don't move!" 81 00:08:07,928 --> 00:08:10,646 You watch and learn. 82 00:08:10,847 --> 00:08:15,966 - I can't say these things. - I'll tell you. 83 00:08:16,206 --> 00:08:20,676 Don't move or my friend It will blow your brains out. 84 00:08:20,885 --> 00:08:24,639 - Should I blow them up? - It's child's play. 85 00:08:24,884 --> 00:08:28,877 - Which of the two are they? - The one with the red hood. 86 00:08:29,283 --> 00:08:33,640 Please, I want to be white. White brings me luck. 87 00:08:33,842 --> 00:08:37,118 - DO the white. -All right. Ohh! 88 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,870 - Enough ! Riddles him! - She chose him. 89 00:08:45,119 --> 00:08:49,589 "- You will spend the rest of your life in jail!" - What if they catch us? 90 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:53,313 Rest assured. I calculated everything. 91 00:08:54,397 --> 00:08:56,990 < Phase one: camouflage. 92 00:08:57,196 --> 00:09:00,711 < They brought their granddaughter Uga < as a cover. 93 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:04,544 Handsome ! Here's a salesman. Good morning. 94 00:09:04,754 --> 00:09:08,384 To entertain my niece... 95 00:09:08,594 --> 00:09:12,586 ...we want to buy of carnival masks. 96 00:09:12,792 --> 00:09:17,309 - One for him and one for me. - That way. -Wait for me here. 97 00:09:17,511 --> 00:09:23,301 Fantozzi' over there. They have some amazing stuff. 98 00:09:25,669 --> 00:09:29,458 Here are the masks. Do you like them? 99 00:09:31,307 --> 00:09:34,982 - You're not convinced? - They don't scare anyone. 100 00:09:35,187 --> 00:09:37,860 - No? - But when ever! 101 00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:41,616 - You can't be scared... Ahh! - Grampa. 102 00:09:41,825 --> 00:09:43,815 Fantozzi, what is he doing? 103 00:09:44,025 --> 00:09:49,302 Can't he see that it's his monkey... The baboon... 104 00:09:49,503 --> 00:09:54,975 - She's my niece. - Yes but she's dressed with this monkey skin... 105 00:09:55,182 --> 00:09:59,175 - No, it's "cotton". - Cotton? 106 00:10:00,421 --> 00:10:04,413 Now to protect myself I cover it... 107 00:10:04,619 --> 00:10:08,658 I mean that I put this mask on her. 108 00:10:08,939 --> 00:10:11,532 - He's better that way. - Yes. 109 00:10:11,738 --> 00:10:16,572 - It's less insidious. - These masks are too flashy. 110 00:10:16,776 --> 00:10:19,767 There are others over there. VENGHl. 111 00:10:21,975 --> 00:10:26,094 These are more practical. Look. 112 00:10:27,014 --> 00:10:30,643 - You can breathe better. - What's the point of this? 113 00:10:33,852 --> 00:10:37,082 - Are you ready to take action? - Yes. 114 00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:39,885 Here are the weapons. CHOOSE 115 00:10:40,131 --> 00:10:46,569 < Filini had obtained a gun < from track and field starter. 116 00:10:46,769 --> 00:10:51,888 < Fantozzi a rocket launcher coming < from the disarmament of the motor ship Duilio. 117 00:10:52,088 --> 00:10:57,116 It feels "better" to have something to do. 118 00:10:57,327 --> 00:11:00,318 - I have a desire to... - Get her pregnant. 119 00:11:01,765 --> 00:11:05,679 - Get her pregnant. - Who? - Put the weapon in the belt. 120 00:11:06,444 --> 00:11:09,641 - Which bank are we robbing? - Trust me. 121 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:14,235 - I wouldn't want to rob that one where I have my money. - Rest assured. 122 00:11:14,443 --> 00:11:19,390 - I've already studied everything. - Where ? 123 00:11:19,842 --> 00:11:21,832 It's a surprise. 124 00:11:30,039 --> 00:11:32,030 Here's the surprise! 125 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,514 The megacompany! 126 00:11:36,677 --> 00:11:43,115 - Let's rob the house bank. - I've lost my saliva. 127 00:11:44,116 --> 00:11:49,348 We have worked here for 40 years. We know it like the back of our hands. 128 00:11:49,554 --> 00:11:55,230 We will rob those who sucked us blood for 40 years! 129 00:11:55,432 --> 00:12:00,062 - Do you agree? -I would like to retire. 130 00:12:00,271 --> 00:12:04,503 - Why ? - I have a slight urge to vomit. 131 00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:08,499 It's not possible! Today is salary day. 132 00:12:08,709 --> 00:12:13,544 It's full of money. At the entrance! To the two of us! 133 00:12:14,628 --> 00:12:18,825 - There is a parking ban. They do it the fine. - Don't be cheap. 134 00:12:19,026 --> 00:12:23,543 Soon we will be rich and are you worried about the fine? No! 135 00:12:24,225 --> 00:12:28,343 You who GUIDl leave the door open. Makes escape easier. 136 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,093 I left... 137 00:12:34,023 --> 00:12:38,220 Accountant' now the canteen van arrives. 138 00:12:38,422 --> 00:12:41,335 Yes. But... Shall we rob that too? 139 00:12:41,541 --> 00:12:46,979 No, that's what you need to get in. Here we are... 140 00:12:59,217 --> 00:13:04,734 This is not the time to do somersaults. We're doing a robbery! 141 00:13:09,015 --> 00:13:11,574 I'm excited. 142 00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:15,846 It doesn't have a strange effect on her come back here? 143 00:13:17,653 --> 00:13:21,168 We've spent our whole lives there. Look! 144 00:13:21,371 --> 00:13:24,045 - What is it? - "Lost Employees Office." 145 00:13:24,251 --> 00:13:26,685 Fantozzi' MOVES. 146 00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:34,245 - I came here to have coffee from her. - "Claims office." 147 00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:39,362 - It's impressive. - STOP with these romances. 148 00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:45,118 - We have to do the robbery. - LET me take a look. 149 00:13:45,326 --> 00:13:48,317 -Still ! -Have mercy. -All right. 150 00:13:48,885 --> 00:13:50,603 VENGHl. 151 00:13:52,284 --> 00:13:53,877 There he is. 152 00:13:54,044 --> 00:13:56,034 > There are sales. 153 00:13:56,283 --> 00:14:01,196 - In other liquidations they cost less. - They are not the same brand. 154 00:14:13,278 --> 00:14:16,794 Accountant, everything is like it used to be. 155 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:28,672 -VENGHl. Eye ! - Eye. 156 00:14:31,394 --> 00:14:33,385 Press yourself against the wall. 157 00:14:34,954 --> 00:14:38,503 - What is he doing? - I crushed myself. 158 00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:41,824 - Now let's get to the action. - I... 159 00:14:42,032 --> 00:14:46,662 Now we're disguising ourselves weapons and let's break in together. 160 00:14:46,871 --> 00:14:49,749 No. Look what's written there. 161 00:14:51,829 --> 00:14:55,298 - So I say hello... -Come here! 162 00:14:55,508 --> 00:14:59,263 Let's apply plan B. Let's do B. Let's do B. 163 00:14:59,468 --> 00:15:02,459 - I'm a B. - What is that? - ll B. 164 00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:04,738 But what does he do! 165 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:09,815 According to plan B she moves forward and I wait here. Is the gun loaded? 166 00:15:10,025 --> 00:15:12,823 - I have the rocket in the barrel. - it breaks. 167 00:15:13,024 --> 00:15:16,904 - I'll break in. - it breaks. - I sound like a "Swabian cat". 168 00:15:18,343 --> 00:15:20,334 Button. 169 00:15:23,942 --> 00:15:25,932 - I'll break in. - it breaks. 170 00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:32,897 (recording) "Good morning." - Who is ? 171 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:37,535 (recording) “You have items metal on you." - no! 172 00:15:37,739 --> 00:15:42,447 (recording) “You have items metal on you." - Yes... No! 173 00:15:42,657 --> 00:15:46,854 (recording) "Don't be smart! You have metal objects on you." 174 00:15:47,056 --> 00:15:50,605 - "We won't let you in." - I have nothing. 175 00:15:54,774 --> 00:15:56,572 Help ! 176 00:16:05,412 --> 00:16:09,404 To avoid attracting attention I put my nose. 177 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:15,880 Hands up! This is a robbery. 178 00:16:16,168 --> 00:16:20,526 Lie down on the ground otherwise he will blow your brains out! 179 00:16:20,768 --> 00:16:23,759 Fantozzi, she doesn't. It must blow your mind. 180 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:29,884 Stay calm. I don't want bloodshed. 181 00:16:30,085 --> 00:16:32,361 - No. -You lie down on the ground. 182 00:16:32,605 --> 00:16:34,801 You put your money on the table... 183 00:16:35,004 --> 00:16:39,759 ...otherwise he'll make you jump the brain. - But sorry! 184 00:16:39,963 --> 00:16:43,717 - I say this! - Are you giving the order? 185 00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:48,194 Then hurry up! She lies down he sleeps on the floor. Continue the robbery. 186 00:16:48,401 --> 00:16:53,997 - The nose. So... How do I continue? - Continue the robbery Fantozzi! 187 00:16:54,199 --> 00:16:59,989 - He doesn't have bags to put in the money? - Don't you have a bag? 188 00:17:00,198 --> 00:17:04,270 - Director, excuse us. He doesn't have it. - I'll take care of it. - He'll take care of it. 189 00:17:05,397 --> 00:17:07,831 It's child's play! 190 00:17:09,715 --> 00:17:14,948 This is the other one. Now they lock us in the vault. 191 00:17:15,194 --> 00:17:17,185 So everyone in the vault! 192 00:17:17,354 --> 00:17:20,186 Come on, hurry up! 193 00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:28,508 -VENGHl' Fantozzi. -Let's all go in the vault. - In the vault. 194 00:17:29,551 --> 00:17:31,940 > Not her! 195 00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:36,666 - Where is Fantozzi? - In the vault. - Not her! - Close. 196 00:17:37,308 --> 00:17:39,379 Open! 197 00:17:39,588 --> 00:17:43,468 - The hand! - It's nothing. 198 00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:47,183 - It's nothing. - It's the same hand. Let's go. 199 00:18:06,262 --> 00:18:09,811 (in English) Excuse me' I would like some information. 200 00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:13,570 I have to take the ring road. 201 00:18:19,939 --> 00:18:22,817 - Accountant, let's go. - Yes. 202 00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:25,617 - Go! - Yes. 203 00:18:25,857 --> 00:18:27,847 I left! 204 00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:38,774 - Where ? Let's take that car. - But I'll drive. 205 00:18:39,054 --> 00:18:42,330 You are almost blind. I mean he's blind. 206 00:18:44,053 --> 00:18:46,965 Here we are. Ready? Go! 207 00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:51,203 They took the steering wheel away. 208 00:18:51,411 --> 00:18:55,847 - We are lucky! There's another one. I'll drive. - No! 209 00:18:57,609 --> 00:18:59,885 (in English) Go slowly. 210 00:19:00,129 --> 00:19:03,280 - Be careful. - Don't DISTRACT me. 211 00:19:03,488 --> 00:19:08,004 - It's dangerous in this fog. - What fog? 212 00:19:14,205 --> 00:19:16,002 (in English) My face! 213 00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:20,879 - They're coming at us! - Who? 214 00:19:21,123 --> 00:19:24,115 -Do you want to cause an accident? - No! 215 00:19:25,963 --> 00:19:27,952 Ahh! 216 00:19:28,081 --> 00:19:30,072 Leave the wheel! 217 00:19:37,319 --> 00:19:39,549 There's a gentleman on the hood. 218 00:19:42,918 --> 00:19:46,548 - Brakes. - Don't talk nonsense. We're on the run. 219 00:19:52,676 --> 00:19:54,712 - Did you see? - What ? 220 00:19:54,915 --> 00:19:57,667 Then I'll explain... 221 00:19:57,914 --> 00:19:59,905 We continue the escape. 222 00:20:03,753 --> 00:20:06,744 Everything went well. 223 00:20:07,912 --> 00:20:11,700 - Parking was legendary. - You don't think about these things. 224 00:20:11,951 --> 00:20:13,942 Let's get rid of the guns. 225 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:21,621 - Accountant! -Ahh! - We'll be home in ten minutes... 226 00:20:21,828 --> 00:20:24,820 ...to share the loot. 227 00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:29,026 The swag! Ouch! This is better... 228 00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:31,217 HORN 229 00:21:06,977 --> 00:21:10,207 - You're welcome. > Filini! AMAZING! 230 00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:14,128 > Dear inferiors, come up. 231 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,651 < He was the galactic megadirector < in person... 232 00:21:24,773 --> 00:21:28,128 < ..Duke Count Mariarita Vittorio < Barambani. 233 00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:30,925 FANTOZZl SMUTTERS 234 00:21:31,131 --> 00:21:34,647 - Good morning dear inferiors. (together) Good morning. 235 00:21:34,851 --> 00:21:39,685 You robbed the company that has you lovingly exploited for years. 236 00:21:39,929 --> 00:21:43,923 Yes, because we were thinking of returning in part. 237 00:21:44,129 --> 00:21:47,246 -How did you discover us? -We had fake noses! 238 00:21:47,408 --> 00:21:52,196 You thought you had done the job without our help? 239 00:21:52,447 --> 00:21:55,438 - No! - He helped us. 240 00:21:56,486 --> 00:22:00,443 Excuse me, Sire. Why did he do it? 241 00:22:00,684 --> 00:22:05,632 To make you experience a beautiful emotion. But that's enough now. 242 00:22:06,363 --> 00:22:09,354 Place the loot on the table. 243 00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:12,553 So she returns it to the bank... 244 00:22:12,721 --> 00:22:16,237 No. The culprits must remain unknown. 245 00:22:16,481 --> 00:22:20,713 Thus the company will be compensated from the insurance. 246 00:22:20,959 --> 00:22:24,077 Your Majesty, the malloppone? 247 00:22:24,318 --> 00:22:27,515 I'll take it for my tantrums personal. 248 00:22:27,677 --> 00:22:29,668 > Everything? 249 00:22:29,837 --> 00:22:35,832 For once he couldn't "getting crazy" at 50% with the two of us? 250 00:22:36,036 --> 00:22:40,984 No. I'm doing it for your good' dearest ones. 251 00:22:41,195 --> 00:22:45,585 Money is a rich thing. You are not mentally equipped. 252 00:22:45,833 --> 00:22:49,952 You would be fooled by some scammer. 253 00:22:50,192 --> 00:22:53,025 You'd end up with some little girl. 254 00:22:53,991 --> 00:22:56,346 These her... 255 00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,781 It was a curiosity. 256 00:23:00,669 --> 00:23:03,138 Your life would be turned upside down. 257 00:23:03,349 --> 00:23:06,579 Thank me for the favor what do I do to you. 258 00:23:07,748 --> 00:23:10,786 Philip the lower ones are about to descend. 259 00:23:39,260 --> 00:23:42,251 Unghia' come and say hello to dad. 260 00:23:44,139 --> 00:23:48,655 Bongo, I'm sorry that you can't come to the party. 261 00:23:48,858 --> 00:23:52,851 But I understand. The gorilla profession has no timetable. 262 00:23:53,897 --> 00:23:57,366 You don't say gorilla' but "bodyguard". 263 00:23:58,896 --> 00:24:00,886 Sorry Mariangela. You are right. 264 00:24:02,175 --> 00:24:05,212 - HI. - HI. 265 00:24:05,454 --> 00:24:07,445 - HI. - HI. 266 00:24:08,973 --> 00:24:10,964 Here's dad! 267 00:24:20,850 --> 00:24:22,841 Hi dad. 268 00:24:30,527 --> 00:24:35,646 Let's turn off the lights. Dad will be happy of this beautiful surprise. 269 00:24:36,246 --> 00:24:37,964 You come. 270 00:24:40,805 --> 00:24:43,957 What happens ? Has the light gone out? 271 00:24:45,964 --> 00:24:50,241 Holy shit! Precisely on Cup Wednesday! 272 00:24:50,563 --> 00:24:54,521 - Where is the remote control? - One two three. 273 00:24:54,761 --> 00:24:58,356 (together) Surprise! - What is this stuff? 274 00:24:58,601 --> 00:25:00,637 Today is Cup Wednesday! 275 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:04,395 Absolute silence for 90 minutes! 276 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:08,632 Women in the kitchen! Spaghetti with garlic, oil and chilli pepper. 277 00:25:08,838 --> 00:25:14,355 - Ice-cold beer and free burp! - There's the tortellini timbale. 278 00:25:14,557 --> 00:25:19,710 -All right. - It's the anniversary of our wedding. 279 00:25:19,916 --> 00:25:24,670 Precisely today that there is the legendary Cup Wednesday? 280 00:25:24,874 --> 00:25:27,388 The only joy of my life. 281 00:25:27,633 --> 00:25:30,512 It's been 40 years' Ugo. 282 00:25:33,272 --> 00:25:34,990 But... 283 00:25:35,232 --> 00:25:37,542 40 years? 284 00:25:38,031 --> 00:25:42,024 The 40 year wedding is it a golden wedding? 285 00:25:42,230 --> 00:25:44,540 It's a shitty wedding. 286 00:25:44,750 --> 00:25:49,186 Mariangela returns home. I don't want to celebrate that wedding there. 287 00:25:49,389 --> 00:25:51,106 Pina! 288 00:25:51,348 --> 00:25:56,421 Pina' you've become touchy. 289 00:25:56,627 --> 00:26:00,778 It was just a joke. 290 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:04,183 Let's celebrate. 291 00:26:05,265 --> 00:26:08,256 - The match? - It's fantastic! 292 00:26:08,464 --> 00:26:11,023 I give up... 293 00:26:11,783 --> 00:26:14,820 - Thanks Ugo. - I give up on audio. 294 00:26:24,420 --> 00:26:27,491 Ugo, shall we blow out the candles? 295 00:26:38,017 --> 00:26:39,654 Now ? 296 00:26:43,655 --> 00:26:45,850 Goal! 297 00:26:46,055 --> 00:26:50,684 Whoever doesn't jump is a Rossoneri! 298 00:26:50,933 --> 00:26:53,493 - Who doesn't jump... - Now. 299 00:26:53,693 --> 00:26:58,004 Dad Uga dedicated a poem to you. (softly) Go. 300 00:26:58,252 --> 00:27:04,565 - Whoever doesn't jump is a Rossoneri! - Can I say the poem' grandfather? 301 00:27:04,770 --> 00:27:08,000 Say the poem there! Who doesn't jump... 302 00:27:08,249 --> 00:27:13,527 "My grandma' my grandma. Let's celebrate a happy event..." 303 00:27:13,728 --> 00:27:17,925 "..Here in your apartment a little big for two your age." 304 00:27:18,166 --> 00:27:23,683 "If we were hosted here you would be more take care of yourself. But it must be done soon." 305 00:27:23,885 --> 00:27:28,083 "We have eviction! What It's wonderful to have a whole family!" 306 00:27:28,325 --> 00:27:31,601 "This is what they propose Uga' mama' grandma and Bongo." 307 00:27:31,804 --> 00:27:34,795 Pass it! 308 00:27:47,799 --> 00:27:50,871 - Have you heard Ugo? - Certain ! 309 00:27:51,919 --> 00:27:56,071 - Are you okay with this? - Very good. Now go away. 310 00:27:56,277 --> 00:28:00,315 -So they come to stay here? - Yes. Go away. 311 00:28:00,516 --> 00:28:04,510 - Thanks grandpa. - What are you doing ? Whoever doesn't jump is a Rossoneri! 312 00:28:04,716 --> 00:28:09,026 < Left alone' Fantozzi left < go to the wildest cheering. 313 00:28:10,994 --> 00:28:13,985 < At the third goal he made the "ola" < alone. 314 00:28:21,591 --> 00:28:25,585 < Then it became stained with episodes < of domestic hooliganism. 315 00:28:31,629 --> 00:28:35,701 < Finally 00:28:43,696 "Uga' mama' grandma and Bongo." Bongo! 317 00:28:45,946 --> 00:28:50,222 - Who comes to live here? - Our daughter with her family. 318 00:28:50,424 --> 00:28:53,893 - They have eviction. - And they come to live here? 319 00:28:54,143 --> 00:28:58,978 -Do you want to send them under a bridge? - Yes, even under a bridge! 320 00:28:59,182 --> 00:29:04,733 - We must try to save a wedding. - What does it mean ? 321 00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:09,697 Bongo has too many thoughts and Mariangela he no longer has a sex life. 322 00:29:10,779 --> 00:29:17,695 Mariangela also has a sexual life? 323 00:29:18,657 --> 00:29:21,045 Of course if Ughina was born! 324 00:29:22,656 --> 00:29:26,933 Perte is always a little girl but she is a woman like any other. 325 00:29:28,135 --> 00:29:30,694 One day he confessed to me... 326 00:29:31,734 --> 00:29:35,442 ...that for six months Bongo doesn't touch her anymore. 327 00:29:35,653 --> 00:29:40,010 Bullshit! Those animals over there... 328 00:29:41,012 --> 00:29:43,446 I meant... 329 00:29:43,651 --> 00:29:48,678 Our son-in-law is in heat every six months. 330 00:29:48,890 --> 00:29:53,645 I know because I saw the show by Doctor Angela... 331 00:29:53,848 --> 00:29:57,283 ..."the gorilla in the fog." - Ugo you already said yes. 332 00:29:57,527 --> 00:30:03,796 You made me say yes because it was Cup Wednesday. 333 00:30:04,047 --> 00:30:08,357 On Wednesday in the Cup I don't think. 334 00:30:09,205 --> 00:30:13,801 - Cup Wednesday. -Now calm down and think. 335 00:30:15,163 --> 00:30:19,396 We are no longer young. If something happens to us... 336 00:30:19,603 --> 00:30:25,438 ...they will assist us. It's the most beautiful gift they could give us. 337 00:30:25,641 --> 00:30:28,917 -Come and live here? - Certain. 338 00:30:31,839 --> 00:30:34,672 They won't bother us. 339 00:30:34,879 --> 00:30:38,428 We set them up in the living room so we won't hear them. 340 00:30:44,116 --> 00:30:47,426 > Again! Yes ! 341 00:30:47,635 --> 00:30:50,229 SCREAMING WITH PLEASURE 342 00:30:50,435 --> 00:30:52,426 Ahh! Pina! 343 00:30:53,674 --> 00:30:58,031 - There's an earthquake! - Shh! Don't wake the little girl. 344 00:30:58,713 --> 00:31:03,103 What is this object? Yes, it's the granddaughter! 345 00:31:03,351 --> 00:31:06,946 - I'll cover her for the cold. - No. 346 00:31:07,151 --> 00:31:12,828 Okay. Why do we have to keep her here? 347 00:31:13,110 --> 00:31:17,818 He couldn't stay there. Can't you hear? SCREAMING WITH PLEASURE 348 00:31:19,908 --> 00:31:22,899 INDISTINCT NOISE 349 00:31:24,787 --> 00:31:30,383 - Pina' those mate! - Do they mate? 350 00:31:30,585 --> 00:31:32,860 They make love' Ugo. 351 00:31:34,544 --> 00:31:36,534 Love? I SCREAM 352 00:31:36,744 --> 00:31:38,893 It's a bit of love... 353 00:31:40,103 --> 00:31:44,618 We saved their marriage. Bongo is no longer in crisis. 354 00:31:46,261 --> 00:31:51,459 But I will be in crisis with the neighbors. 355 00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:55,573 Neighbors are not animals. Barrites... 356 00:31:57,138 --> 00:32:00,129 FRACASS 357 00:32:00,297 --> 00:32:02,413 They fell. 358 00:32:03,257 --> 00:32:06,648 They are sacrificed in that bed. 359 00:32:10,056 --> 00:32:14,810 - Do we give up our room? -To whom? -To the boys. 360 00:32:17,014 --> 00:32:22,247 Now this Latvian we no longer need it. 361 00:32:26,411 --> 00:32:28,402 Pina' don't provoke me. 362 00:32:29,171 --> 00:32:32,800 Don't break me. If there wasn't the babbui... 363 00:32:33,089 --> 00:32:36,844 My little granddaughter. Excuse me. 364 00:32:37,769 --> 00:32:42,968 - I'll split you open like an apple! - We don't give them our room. 365 00:32:43,168 --> 00:32:47,444 But you swear that at least twice a week... 366 00:32:47,646 --> 00:32:51,354 ...you will do your marital duty. - Two? 367 00:32:51,565 --> 00:32:55,115 Agree. 368 00:33:05,721 --> 00:33:09,395 All right, let's give him the room. 369 00:33:22,238 --> 00:33:24,228 Grampa ! 370 00:33:25,077 --> 00:33:27,796 - Eh! -Accompany me to pee. 371 00:33:27,997 --> 00:33:31,387 - I'm scared alone. -I'm scared too. 372 00:33:31,596 --> 00:33:37,306 Let's go. You haven't been out in a long time. Give me your paw. 373 00:33:37,514 --> 00:33:39,311 The little hand. 374 00:33:42,152 --> 00:33:47,942 You come. The leash is not needed at night. 375 00:33:48,151 --> 00:33:50,142 Don't bark. 376 00:33:51,190 --> 00:33:53,181 UGA KNOCKS ON THE DOOR 377 00:33:53,390 --> 00:33:56,268 > Grandma! 378 00:33:56,469 --> 00:33:59,143 BELL > Grandma! 379 00:33:59,348 --> 00:34:02,863 Here I am ! What happened? 380 00:34:03,067 --> 00:34:05,536 Grandpa locked me out. 381 00:34:05,747 --> 00:34:09,182 - Poor thing! - Grandpa is bad! 382 00:34:09,386 --> 00:34:13,016 - Don't cry. - I don't want to see him again! 383 00:34:14,505 --> 00:34:17,860 Grandpa locked me out. Grandpa is bad! 384 00:34:21,544 --> 00:34:26,491 You did it because in your unconscious you don't want us in the house anymore. 385 00:34:26,702 --> 00:34:31,218 Just say it and we'll take away the trouble! 386 00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:38,334 Don't even say that as a joke! Dad is very happy to have you here. 387 00:34:39,378 --> 00:34:41,369 Very. 388 00:34:50,936 --> 00:34:53,973 - Stop! - Why ? - There's a surprise. 389 00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:57,292 - They're gone! - No, but it's new. 390 00:34:57,495 --> 00:34:59,690 - Close your eyes. - Yes. 391 00:34:59,893 --> 00:35:03,284 - Come in and close the door. - Yes. 392 00:35:03,493 --> 00:35:05,768 On the count of three open your eyes. 393 00:35:05,972 --> 00:35:10,283 One two three. 394 00:35:11,891 --> 00:35:15,246 - What is it? - It's a coat hanger. 395 00:35:18,169 --> 00:35:20,160 I put on my jacket. 396 00:35:24,648 --> 00:35:26,638 Ugo' looks at the rest. 397 00:35:45,122 --> 00:35:48,592 - What happened? - Nothing. 398 00:35:48,802 --> 00:35:52,874 It's just a decor a little special. 399 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:57,274 It is the work of an architect Bongo's cousin. 400 00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:02,109 It has its own charm. This is the bed area. 401 00:36:02,598 --> 00:36:06,352 It's very functional. 402 00:36:07,038 --> 00:36:12,395 If we want it's a bit primitive' NAIFE. 403 00:36:12,596 --> 00:36:15,668 Reflects Bongo's roots. 404 00:36:15,876 --> 00:36:21,391 Holy shit! Where are ours roots? Where is my furniture? 405 00:36:21,634 --> 00:36:24,671 Luckily he caught them a second-hand dealer. 406 00:36:24,873 --> 00:36:26,863 Even my armchair? 407 00:36:28,472 --> 00:36:31,702 My accounting diploma? 408 00:36:35,670 --> 00:36:38,707 Even the bedroom? 409 00:36:39,550 --> 00:36:44,065 They explained to me that it was horrible. When they took her away... 410 00:36:44,268 --> 00:36:46,259 They took her away... 411 00:36:47,307 --> 00:36:50,299 It was old fashioned stuff. It wasn't worth anything. 412 00:36:51,587 --> 00:36:55,977 Even when we bought it in 1954... 413 00:36:57,145 --> 00:36:59,454 - Do you remember? - In 1954. 414 00:37:00,184 --> 00:37:06,212 It was really bad. We got it because they gave it to us in installments. 415 00:37:07,862 --> 00:37:10,854 Where will my bed be now? 416 00:37:13,421 --> 00:37:16,492 - I am sorry ! - Don't worry. 417 00:37:17,260 --> 00:37:19,854 But we spent a lifetime there... 418 00:37:20,859 --> 00:37:22,850 ...together. 419 00:37:24,178 --> 00:37:26,692 No Pina! 420 00:37:26,897 --> 00:37:32,972 Don't do that. Looking good you can see the paw is there... 421 00:37:33,176 --> 00:37:35,974 The hand of an architect. 422 00:37:36,175 --> 00:37:38,973 It's a somewhat unique style. 423 00:37:39,174 --> 00:37:41,450 ANIMAL SOUND Who is he? 424 00:37:41,654 --> 00:37:46,204 But the bed is light and ventilated. functional. 425 00:37:46,413 --> 00:37:49,689 Do you know what I do? I'll dive into it right away! 426 00:37:53,091 --> 00:37:57,243 -Ouch! What a pain! - Did you get hurt? 427 00:37:57,451 --> 00:38:00,248 Wait. Here you are. 428 00:38:03,049 --> 00:38:07,918 Mom, I'm going. Do you like dad? 429 00:38:08,128 --> 00:38:09,721 Yes ! 430 00:38:11,287 --> 00:38:15,325 - Very much. - Have you withdrawn your pension? 431 00:38:15,526 --> 00:38:18,836 Yes this morning while you... 432 00:38:19,045 --> 00:38:21,719 You have to pay the junk dealer. 433 00:38:25,284 --> 00:38:27,672 Do we have to pay him? 434 00:38:27,883 --> 00:38:31,352 He didn't take away for free that shit! 435 00:38:31,562 --> 00:38:34,202 - Holy shit? - I had to convince him. 436 00:38:34,321 --> 00:38:38,917 You also have to pay the greengrocer for this evening's banana party. 437 00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,954 - Banana party? - It's a party. 438 00:38:44,159 --> 00:38:47,788 We inaugurate the house with Bongo's friends. 439 00:38:49,358 --> 00:38:54,955 - Are you happy Pina? - For a long time we weren't invited to a party. 440 00:38:55,156 --> 00:38:59,069 (from the record player) "When I see banana peel..." 441 00:38:59,275 --> 00:39:02,266 "..Immediately think of distant Africa." 442 00:39:02,474 --> 00:39:05,909 'I think of black jungle' to the tiger' to the panther." 443 00:39:06,113 --> 00:39:09,822 "I'm thinking of the little black girl from the tucul." 444 00:39:10,033 --> 00:39:12,023 "Tucul' tucul." 445 00:39:12,232 --> 00:39:15,030 "The tucul is a hut..." 446 00:39:15,231 --> 00:39:17,222 THUD 447 00:39:17,431 --> 00:39:20,422 Don't get angry' Ugo. 448 00:39:20,630 --> 00:39:24,260 Young people don't like being around with the old ones. 449 00:39:24,469 --> 00:39:29,065 - Which old people? -They wanted to be on their own. 450 00:39:30,828 --> 00:39:37,016 They invite you to my house' you dress elegantly... 451 00:39:37,226 --> 00:39:42,094 This evening you really were very passable... 452 00:39:42,305 --> 00:39:47,139 I mean "pretty". Then they throw you out like a shoe. 453 00:39:48,143 --> 00:39:51,773 - How long does a banana party last? - I do not know. 454 00:39:51,983 --> 00:39:54,974 -Even all night? - Perhaps. 455 00:39:55,182 --> 00:39:58,811 "The little black girl told Zambo..." 456 00:39:59,020 --> 00:40:02,012 ..."I don't want you without a stem." 457 00:40:02,220 --> 00:40:06,132 "I don't want to see you anymore at the door of the tucul." 458 00:40:07,059 --> 00:40:12,337 After the crappy night they had If you pass by, do you bring them croissants? 459 00:40:12,538 --> 00:40:16,007 They are hot. He likes them a lot. 460 00:40:18,776 --> 00:40:21,767 Their suitcases! They're going away! 461 00:40:23,095 --> 00:40:25,483 They are ours. 462 00:40:27,494 --> 00:40:29,484 Our. 463 00:40:30,733 --> 00:40:36,444 They can also take them' that's enough let them go away with their junk! 464 00:40:40,770 --> 00:40:42,761 I'm getting my house back. 465 00:40:53,567 --> 00:40:57,197 They got distracted and they set the stake. 466 00:40:58,806 --> 00:41:01,002 "Doctor Bongo"? 467 00:41:01,245 --> 00:41:02,962 Bongo! 468 00:41:05,764 --> 00:41:07,880 KING KONG! 469 00:41:10,763 --> 00:41:13,323 KING KONG! 470 00:41:13,882 --> 00:41:15,873 Mariangela' open! 471 00:41:16,402 --> 00:41:19,200 > Who is he? - It's us! 472 00:41:19,681 --> 00:41:22,752 > Who are we? - Your father and mother. 473 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:28,119 Darling, we brought you the croissants with cream. Open. 474 00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:32,629 > I'm sorry but I can't. Bongo has said that we can't continue like this. 475 00:41:32,837 --> 00:41:39,515 > This coexistence humiliates us and you. Someone needs to go away. 476 00:41:39,716 --> 00:41:42,105 -You. > Not you. 477 00:41:42,316 --> 00:41:46,308 > We are at the beginning of life' you are "fruity". 478 00:41:46,514 --> 00:41:49,983 - But this is our home. > It's true. Wait. 479 00:41:51,873 --> 00:41:54,183 Now it opens. 480 00:41:58,991 --> 00:42:03,383 > Here's the rent to pay. -Shame on you Mariangela! 481 00:42:03,910 --> 00:42:08,187 You can't do this to your dad! Open it up right away, do you understand? 482 00:42:08,389 --> 00:42:12,746 Don't lower yourself to their level. She she's no longer my babu... little girl. 483 00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:15,979 No, you said it right: baboon! 484 00:42:16,387 --> 00:42:21,256 - Baboon! - Don't come looking for us! 485 00:42:21,466 --> 00:42:26,174 When your mother is gone... That is, when we will no longer be here... 486 00:42:26,384 --> 00:42:29,376 ...you will only be left with remorse. 487 00:42:30,264 --> 00:42:33,415 - Pack your bags. - Certain. Here. 488 00:42:34,622 --> 00:42:39,617 Um! I "feed" them all myself! 489 00:42:44,380 --> 00:42:49,772 Who cares! We are fine like this. 490 00:42:50,578 --> 00:42:52,569 Pina' bring them. 491 00:42:53,857 --> 00:42:55,894 Dad ! Mom! 492 00:43:04,495 --> 00:43:06,611 - Yes ? - The croissants? 493 00:43:08,374 --> 00:43:10,365 The croissants. 494 00:43:17,452 --> 00:43:22,525 -How many meters are there? - One hundred walkable. - It's convenient. 495 00:43:22,731 --> 00:43:27,008 BELL TOLL Pina' a distant bell ringing! 496 00:43:27,210 --> 00:43:30,201 It's very romantic. I want to hear it. 497 00:43:43,766 --> 00:43:48,077 - What a beautiful kitchen! - It's magnificent. - Yes. 498 00:43:49,004 --> 00:43:53,999 - I'll take it. - Here's the contract. All it takes is a signature. 499 00:43:54,203 --> 00:43:56,193 - Where ? - Ugo! 500 00:43:56,402 --> 00:43:59,393 - Here. - Ugo, help! 501 00:44:01,961 --> 00:44:07,512 Excuse me, but he said "subway vicinity". 502 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:11,752 - This is a station! - Get out of the way! 503 00:44:11,959 --> 00:44:15,428 -Wait! - Ugo! - I'm at my house! 504 00:44:19,317 --> 00:44:23,548 - Permit. - I lost interest in the deal. 505 00:44:23,755 --> 00:44:28,386 - She said she took it and now he takes it! - Leave me! 506 00:44:29,634 --> 00:44:31,625 He can't go away! 507 00:44:32,473 --> 00:44:34,464 Let's go Pina. 508 00:44:34,673 --> 00:44:39,348 < In the end Fantozzi found it < an almost human arrangement. 509 00:45:14,103 --> 00:45:18,779 - Ugo, shall we prepare the table? - Yes. I'll pull up here. 510 00:45:50,935 --> 00:45:53,926 Ugo, where did you put the shopping? 511 00:45:55,693 --> 00:45:58,889 I left it on the bed. 512 00:46:05,331 --> 00:46:09,688 - Pina' what does "danger" mean? - "Danger". 513 00:46:09,890 --> 00:46:11,402 THUD 514 00:46:12,809 --> 00:46:17,837 While accompanied to the extreme this brother of yours lives... 515 00:46:18,048 --> 00:46:21,119 ...now freed from the burden of earthly life... 516 00:46:21,327 --> 00:46:25,445 ...remember that you too must die. 517 00:46:26,725 --> 00:46:31,037 Lord' Father of mercy' I introduce myself... 518 00:46:31,245 --> 00:46:35,841 < The sad season of departures < he continued implacably. 519 00:46:38,243 --> 00:46:41,598 Brothers' death is near for everyone. 520 00:46:41,802 --> 00:46:46,034 Today it was his turn. Tomorrow it could happen to you. 521 00:46:47,881 --> 00:46:51,874 Prepare your hearts and your thoughts... 522 00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:54,229 ...refine your faith. 523 00:46:54,439 --> 00:46:58,033 - Saint John and Paul. (together) Pray for us. 524 00:46:58,238 --> 00:47:01,229 - Saint Anna. (together) Pray for us. 525 00:47:01,357 --> 00:47:04,348 - Boxing Day. (together) Pray for us. 526 00:47:23,471 --> 00:47:27,465 FANTOM, do something! It's late. I miss shiatsu! 527 00:47:27,591 --> 00:47:30,787 - What do you lose? - The massage. 528 00:47:31,110 --> 00:47:34,818 - My lady! - I'll go. Excuse me. 529 00:47:35,508 --> 00:47:38,944 - Force ! - Sorry... - Yes? 530 00:47:43,547 --> 00:47:45,504 HORN 531 00:48:01,303 --> 00:48:05,420 - Quick! Please ! - Ma'am now... 532 00:48:05,621 --> 00:48:08,977 - They're still alive! -Oh yes? Let's go. 533 00:48:17,098 --> 00:48:21,376 - Who is Don FANTOCCl? - I am Fantozzi' without "don". 534 00:48:21,578 --> 00:48:23,614 I am the priest. 535 00:48:23,818 --> 00:48:28,606 His x-rays show nothing. How patient she might go. 536 00:48:28,816 --> 00:48:32,365 As a priest it is better that he stays. 537 00:48:32,614 --> 00:48:35,128 What is it? 538 00:48:35,334 --> 00:48:38,246 -Come. - What... 539 00:48:39,294 --> 00:48:41,363 I'm fine, right? 540 00:48:42,453 --> 00:48:45,205 I've never had anything. 541 00:48:48,052 --> 00:48:52,283 Mr. FANTOCCl' this It's the x-ray of his lungs. 542 00:48:52,490 --> 00:48:57,563 - They're beautiful. - There are some relatives who I can talk to? 543 00:48:57,769 --> 00:49:01,602 But what is it? My wife is here... 544 00:49:01,808 --> 00:49:05,960 If it's something serious' It's better if he doesn't know anything. 545 00:49:07,726 --> 00:49:12,754 -Do you see this little white spot? - It's small! Then I'm healthy. 546 00:49:12,965 --> 00:49:15,956 That's the only healthy part. 547 00:49:20,724 --> 00:49:24,716 (in Latin) In the name of the Father' of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. 548 00:49:24,842 --> 00:49:27,231 I absolve you from your sins... 549 00:49:28,161 --> 00:49:30,755 Sorry. You are crazy! 550 00:49:38,119 --> 00:49:41,793 Engineer... Doctor, is it serious? 551 00:49:42,958 --> 00:49:46,473 At that time ? Is it serious? 552 00:49:46,677 --> 00:49:49,065 It's incurable. 553 00:49:53,555 --> 00:49:56,273 How much... 554 00:49:59,313 --> 00:50:01,873 How much time do I have left? 555 00:50:03,753 --> 00:50:05,744 Look at that... 556 00:50:06,392 --> 00:50:11,100 ...she underestimates me. I have ruthless courage. 557 00:50:12,391 --> 00:50:14,267 A year? 558 00:50:16,230 --> 00:50:17,664 A month? 559 00:50:19,469 --> 00:50:22,540 - One day ? - No! A week. 560 00:50:31,386 --> 00:50:34,821 Lucky man that you know the date of your death... 561 00:50:35,025 --> 00:50:39,655 ...use the time you have left to prepare you for paradise! 562 00:50:39,864 --> 00:50:43,094 Wear a sackcloth and ask for forgiveness. Repent! 563 00:50:43,303 --> 00:50:47,136 I just regret it that I didn't enjoy life. 564 00:50:47,582 --> 00:50:51,973 00:50:57,173 < He ate 4 kg of raw mussels. 566 00:51:05,177 --> 00:51:09,774 < He fined and removed a tow truck < parked in double rows. 567 00:51:12,056 --> 00:51:13,807 Stopped ! 568 00:51:14,055 --> 00:51:16,251 < It made a monstrous "stink"... 569 00:51:16,455 --> 00:51:19,810 < ..in the elevator < of a department store. 570 00:51:20,014 --> 00:51:24,211 < he daubed the walls with writing < of courageous denunciation. 571 00:51:29,652 --> 00:51:33,121 < In the end he found himself < without any more desires... 572 00:51:33,331 --> 00:51:36,322 < ..and with great anguish < in the heart. 573 00:51:47,888 --> 00:51:52,198 Ugo, what are these manners? Leave me at the hospital like this! 574 00:51:52,406 --> 00:51:55,397 Luckily they said that you're fine. 575 00:51:55,605 --> 00:51:58,279 I'm "healthy as a crow". 576 00:52:06,083 --> 00:52:09,712 Don't drink hard alcohol! They hurt you. 577 00:52:11,321 --> 00:52:15,280 There's nothing left that can hurt me. 578 00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:20,432 Nothing. 579 00:52:23,278 --> 00:52:28,192 Drink a beer, it's lighter. "He who drinks beer lives for a hundred years." 580 00:52:29,157 --> 00:52:33,593 - Pina, can I tell you something? - Tell me. - "Go shit"! 581 00:52:33,796 --> 00:52:36,867 - Ugo! - Sorry Pina. 582 00:52:37,075 --> 00:52:40,066 I had a terrible day. 583 00:52:42,314 --> 00:52:44,270 Terrible ! 584 00:52:57,510 --> 00:53:00,263 We need to buy the vitamins again. 585 00:53:00,510 --> 00:53:04,024 Buy the small jar this time. 586 00:53:05,308 --> 00:53:08,460 The small one lasts a week. 587 00:53:08,668 --> 00:53:11,021 Enough and move forward. 588 00:53:11,226 --> 00:53:14,422 Ugo, stop looking like this from a funeral! 589 00:53:18,665 --> 00:53:20,656 I'll throw myself down! 590 00:53:23,944 --> 00:53:27,299 - What happened Ugo? - What a pain! 591 00:53:27,503 --> 00:53:30,494 I wanted to get some air. 592 00:53:32,421 --> 00:53:35,459 -I'm going to lie down on the bed. - Yes Ugo. 593 00:53:35,661 --> 00:53:39,130 I'm slightly dizzy. 594 00:53:46,138 --> 00:53:50,131 - What are you doing? - I'm training. 595 00:54:15,291 --> 00:54:20,204 You had the strength not to tell me nothing. You are a wonderful man. 596 00:54:21,210 --> 00:54:23,440 I want to do something for you. 597 00:54:23,649 --> 00:54:26,721 -Go! - As ! 598 00:54:26,929 --> 00:54:31,319 - Force ! - He won! 599 00:54:34,526 --> 00:54:38,485 (in Roman dialect) They can kill you! 600 00:54:38,686 --> 00:54:44,043 - Who has to die this time? - Ugo' my husband. - Condolences. 601 00:54:44,244 --> 00:54:48,077 - Thank you. - But what do I have to do with it? - Do a good work. 602 00:54:48,283 --> 00:54:52,991 - Cheer up your last 7 days. - I tell him jokes! 603 00:54:53,201 --> 00:54:58,116 No. You take him to a nice place for a romantic holiday. 604 00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:03,553 - Yes, I'm doing "Weekend with the Dead"! You go. - It's not the same thing. 605 00:55:03,759 --> 00:55:07,672 She has always been the ideal woman for Ugo. 606 00:55:07,878 --> 00:55:11,268 Don't be offended but I never understood why. 607 00:55:11,478 --> 00:55:15,754 Because I am a refined woman. Did he "poop" on 5? 608 00:55:17,796 --> 00:55:22,914 -Then I'll play it. - I will pay you for your sacrifice. 609 00:55:23,114 --> 00:55:27,630 - I have some cash... -Go away! - my jewels. 610 00:55:27,833 --> 00:55:31,143 - I could make some bills! - Enough ! 611 00:55:31,352 --> 00:55:36,471 - Give up a fifth of my pension of a widow. - Bet a million on 5. 612 00:55:38,270 --> 00:55:42,389 (in Roman dialect) If you want to play' take out the money. 613 00:55:42,590 --> 00:55:47,584 - Remember that you owe us 4 million. There are seven days left. - Seven? 614 00:55:47,789 --> 00:55:51,826 If you don't pay we'll burn your house down and we'll beat you to death. 615 00:55:52,027 --> 00:55:54,780 Seven days! 616 00:55:54,987 --> 00:55:57,705 Holy shit! 617 00:55:57,906 --> 00:56:01,421 I couldn't lose, he's the favourite! 618 00:56:06,504 --> 00:56:08,541 Listen... 619 00:56:08,744 --> 00:56:13,373 - When does your husband die? - In seven days. - Seven? 620 00:56:16,701 --> 00:56:18,851 How much cash do you have? 621 00:56:21,021 --> 00:56:26,651 - One million. - Come on! -So you accept? - It's a loan. 622 00:56:26,859 --> 00:56:30,897 - Now I win and I give them back to you. - What if he loses? - He doesn't leak, he pooped. 623 00:56:31,098 --> 00:56:34,613 - What if he loses? - If he loses I'll "make myself" the dying man. 624 00:56:35,056 --> 00:56:36,888 All about the 5. 625 00:56:44,735 --> 00:56:48,364 - Is your husband contagious? - No. 626 00:56:48,574 --> 00:56:52,009 Give me all the money. I give them to the creditors. 627 00:56:52,213 --> 00:56:56,365 Sorry, it's not out of mistrust. I gave her a million... 628 00:56:56,572 --> 00:57:01,201 ...now I'll give her the jewels and he will have the rest when things are done. 629 00:57:02,090 --> 00:57:04,968 I brought her this too. 630 00:57:05,770 --> 00:57:10,524 - What is it? - It's a commitment signed some kind of contract. 631 00:57:11,408 --> 00:57:17,278 He doesn't have to know anything. I'll make it a casual encounter. 632 00:57:17,887 --> 00:57:21,277 "I will pay after intercourse"! 633 00:57:33,643 --> 00:57:37,635 FUNERAL MUSIC 634 00:58:03,235 --> 00:58:06,307 Ugo, why don't you take a walk? 635 00:58:08,315 --> 00:58:13,990 - It's a beautiful day! - For me the days are all the same now. 636 00:58:15,392 --> 00:58:20,465 - Maybe you meet someone. - I don't want to meet anyone. 637 00:58:30,629 --> 00:58:34,336 Ugo, can I tell you something? 638 00:58:37,227 --> 00:58:41,141 - You "broke my balls"! - What are you saying! 639 00:58:41,346 --> 00:58:45,578 I've been putting up with you for forty years I'm your servant! 640 00:58:45,785 --> 00:58:49,778 I suffer your moods! I see you urinating in the sink! 641 00:58:49,983 --> 00:58:52,020 Pina' I... 642 00:58:52,223 --> 00:58:55,214 You don't know it but I'm about to... 643 00:58:55,422 --> 00:58:59,381 You're about to talk bullshit like you always did! 644 00:59:00,781 --> 00:59:04,933 -Now get out of this house! - What are you doing ? -Go away! 645 00:59:05,141 --> 00:59:08,531 - Look, I'm... - You're a piece of shit! 646 00:59:08,740 --> 00:59:11,299 -You tell me too! - Out ! 647 00:59:13,498 --> 00:59:16,933 - Get out, you bastard! - Crazy thing? 648 00:59:17,138 --> 00:59:21,767 If I leave this door... rolling shutter' you will never see me again. 649 00:59:21,976 --> 00:59:24,489 That's better ! Out ! 650 00:59:28,214 --> 00:59:32,208 You have changed completely attitude towards me. 651 00:59:55,408 --> 00:59:57,364 Fantozzi. 652 01:00:01,806 --> 01:00:05,401 It's a pleasure to see you again! 653 01:00:08,645 --> 01:00:11,238 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 654 01:00:20,722 --> 01:00:23,713 < To pay for the love holiday... 655 01:00:23,921 --> 01:00:27,709 <..which would have enlightened < the last days of his life... 656 01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:32,231 < ..Fantozzi sold at auction < the bare ownership of his organs. 657 01:00:32,439 --> 01:00:36,397 < Explantation was guaranteed < after seven days. 658 01:00:36,598 --> 01:00:40,794 - Three million! - Half past three! > Four million! 659 01:00:42,276 --> 01:00:45,984 Four million and one. Four million and two. 660 01:00:46,195 --> 01:00:50,428 Four million and three. Lot number 4 sold... 661 01:00:50,635 --> 01:00:54,309 ...liver and pancreas' to the gentleman over there. 662 01:00:54,513 --> 01:00:57,903 Lot number 5' complete genital system! 663 01:00:58,112 --> 01:01:00,752 - I ! - I want it! 664 01:01:04,231 --> 01:01:07,586 -To me! - It's my turn! -To me! 665 01:01:12,149 --> 01:01:15,698 - It's microscopic! > Is it a doll? 666 01:01:15,908 --> 01:01:18,626 It's a scam! 667 01:01:18,787 --> 01:01:21,176 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 668 01:01:23,187 --> 01:01:25,336 Withdrawn. 669 01:01:25,545 --> 01:01:27,980 It's because it's cold here! 670 01:01:50,700 --> 01:01:53,293 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 671 01:02:09,215 --> 01:02:12,048 I'll come get her. 672 01:02:15,534 --> 01:02:18,093 Here I am ! Please. 673 01:02:20,333 --> 01:02:23,927 - Do you like it? - How many stars does it have? - Who? 674 01:02:24,132 --> 01:02:28,203 - Like "who"? -Ah! He has six. - Won't there be too many? 675 01:02:28,410 --> 01:02:33,609 - The hotel has five other ones It's her. - Fantozzi is a poet. 676 01:02:33,809 --> 01:02:37,164 -VENGHl. - luggage? - I'll take care of it. 677 01:02:37,368 --> 01:02:38,847 Lad ! 678 01:02:48,685 --> 01:02:50,676 What a beautiful suite! 679 01:02:50,885 --> 01:02:55,196 - Romina and Albano slept here. (in Roman dialect) my balls! 680 01:02:55,403 --> 01:02:58,395 - I did not understand. - I said, "Wow!" 681 01:02:58,603 --> 01:03:02,357 The sled "knocked me off my feet". I have to lie down on the bed. 682 01:03:02,562 --> 01:03:04,711 I'll carry it. 683 01:03:04,922 --> 01:03:09,154 I would go to bed straight away. Sorry, I'm a little greedy. 684 01:03:09,360 --> 01:03:14,036 - What is he doing? -At the beginning it was said about the holiday... 685 01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:17,152 ...which maybe she and I used to do... No? 686 01:03:17,359 --> 01:03:20,669 Yes maybe. But not like this! We just arrived. 687 01:03:20,878 --> 01:03:24,995 It takes patience... Why are you in such a hurry? 688 01:03:25,196 --> 01:03:30,315 It's something I don't have a lot of time to waste. 689 01:03:30,515 --> 01:03:33,109 Maybe this evening. 690 01:03:33,954 --> 01:03:35,991 These things are done... 691 01:03:37,793 --> 01:03:39,784 ...in the evening. 692 01:03:58,548 --> 01:04:02,337 - Soon ! It's evening! - No, it's just a cloud. 693 01:04:02,548 --> 01:04:05,539 - Can't you see? - A cloud. 694 01:04:05,747 --> 01:04:09,535 - But when... - It's 1.15pm. There's time. 695 01:04:09,706 --> 01:04:13,493 Go to the bar and get some bromide. Bring me an aperitif. 696 01:04:13,704 --> 01:04:17,698 - What do I take? - The bromide! - Excuse me. The bar? - Over there. 697 01:04:19,543 --> 01:04:22,854 - Take him to the hospital! - Poor thing! 698 01:04:23,063 --> 01:04:27,214 -How did he get like this? - My God! Who is ? 699 01:04:27,421 --> 01:04:32,177 - What happened to him? - The trampoline. He's a beginner. 700 01:04:32,380 --> 01:04:37,328 - I think he's going on a skiing holiday in hospital. - Interesting! - HI. 701 01:04:37,538 --> 01:04:41,247 - I brought her an aperitif. - Thank you. 702 01:04:41,458 --> 01:04:45,655 I didn't find the bromide' but I took eight chamomiles. 703 01:04:45,857 --> 01:04:49,212 - I'm very calm. - Well done! 704 01:04:50,496 --> 01:04:52,293 Listen... 705 01:04:52,495 --> 01:04:57,125 Instead of staying here and being bored' go for a nice jump. 706 01:04:57,334 --> 01:04:59,325 - Where ? - There. 707 01:05:01,973 --> 01:05:03,963 It's easy! 708 01:05:04,172 --> 01:05:06,924 And then it looks like an eagle! 709 01:05:07,131 --> 01:05:09,327 An angel! 710 01:05:09,691 --> 01:05:12,364 For a man like that... 711 01:05:13,890 --> 01:05:16,803 ...I wouldn't wait for the evening. - No? 712 01:05:17,249 --> 01:05:20,718 Then I'll take the risk! 713 01:05:21,808 --> 01:05:24,925 No! This is dangerous. 714 01:05:26,887 --> 01:05:30,004 - For the trampoline? - Over there. 715 01:05:44,842 --> 01:05:49,871 Hate ! In the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit. 716 01:05:50,041 --> 01:05:54,671 - I would go. - Is it practical? - Who? 717 01:05:54,880 --> 01:06:00,079 - Are you familiar with jumping? - I'm a total beginner. 718 01:06:00,279 --> 01:06:03,475 - You can even die here. - Die ? 719 01:06:06,837 --> 01:06:12,229 - Two days! Well sooner or later... -Then GO! 720 01:06:21,353 --> 01:06:23,469 Excuse me. Do you want to dance? 721 01:06:30,191 --> 01:06:32,421 Ouch! 722 01:06:32,631 --> 01:06:35,463 So miss? 723 01:06:35,670 --> 01:06:40,583 - Am I an angel or an eagle? - He's an asshole! - Well. 724 01:06:42,548 --> 01:06:47,576 < Silvani' unable to stop < Fantozzi's ardor... 725 01:06:47,787 --> 01:06:53,179 < ..resorted to the infamous "Ronfabien" < deadly Spanish sleeping pill. 726 01:06:53,386 --> 01:06:55,581 < It is used by disloyal bullfighters... 727 01:06:55,785 --> 01:07:00,176 < ..to fall asleep < the ferocious battle bulls. 728 01:07:00,384 --> 01:07:04,297 Miss, the elevator is waiting for us. What is it? 729 01:07:04,502 --> 01:07:09,701 - We don't want to celebrate this wonderful moment? - Yes. 730 01:07:11,182 --> 01:07:14,333 -So... -So... -Cheers! 731 01:07:16,940 --> 01:07:20,819 - What did he do? - Everything's perfect. 732 01:07:21,019 --> 01:07:23,010 Then BEVl. 733 01:07:23,179 --> 01:07:28,013 - Miss, do you call me familiar? - No, it's subjunctive. 734 01:07:28,217 --> 01:07:30,969 Oh. Tracanno? 735 01:07:31,136 --> 01:07:33,207 Yes BEVl! 736 01:07:39,494 --> 01:07:43,931 -COME Miss! - Is he okay? - Like a lion! 737 01:07:49,012 --> 01:07:53,448 - Miss, I'm in a state... - Don't you feel tired? 738 01:07:53,651 --> 01:07:59,123 I gave him the whole bottle! Fantozzi' doesn't want to sleep? 739 01:07:59,330 --> 01:08:02,685 Now I'll do them... 740 01:08:02,889 --> 01:08:06,119 - Then... - How smart he is! No! 741 01:08:10,326 --> 01:08:12,966 FANTOZZl HUMMS 742 01:08:13,766 --> 01:08:15,756 > Phantoms! 743 01:08:23,844 --> 01:08:25,834 Good night. 744 01:08:28,643 --> 01:08:31,714 Fantozzi' she offended my femininity. 745 01:08:31,922 --> 01:08:35,277 It looked like he wanted to do it who knows what! 746 01:08:35,481 --> 01:08:40,235 When the time has come He fell into hibernation like a mole. 747 01:08:40,439 --> 01:08:45,069 I don't know what happened to me' it must have been the altitude. 748 01:08:45,278 --> 01:08:50,477 - But this evening I'll open it in two like an apple! - Not vulgar. 749 01:08:50,677 --> 01:08:53,634 Rather woo me. 750 01:08:53,836 --> 01:08:57,351 He seduced me! 751 01:08:57,555 --> 01:08:59,512 Here... 752 01:09:00,115 --> 01:09:05,426 - I COLGHl an edelweiss. - Yes ! I'll make a bunch of it like this... 753 01:09:07,033 --> 01:09:10,229 A deck like that. 754 01:09:10,432 --> 01:09:12,468 She is truly an animal! 755 01:09:12,671 --> 01:09:15,947 I wanted to say here it is full of edelweiss. 756 01:09:16,150 --> 01:09:20,144 I can also take these on my own. I want that one! 757 01:09:21,989 --> 01:09:25,265 - Where ? - The one on the precipice. 758 01:09:25,468 --> 01:09:27,425 On the precipice? 759 01:09:27,628 --> 01:09:30,096 Won't he be afraid? 760 01:09:30,307 --> 01:09:32,298 No. 761 01:09:32,747 --> 01:09:36,262 Do you know what I'm telling you? You only live once. 762 01:09:37,425 --> 01:09:40,622 That is, you only die once. 763 01:09:54,581 --> 01:09:57,333 - Oh oh! - Uh uh! 764 01:10:05,659 --> 01:10:08,491 This little flower... 765 01:10:09,378 --> 01:10:12,051 A little flower. 766 01:10:15,976 --> 01:10:17,774 That's it. 767 01:10:18,895 --> 01:10:20,852 Ahh! 768 01:10:28,853 --> 01:10:31,287 > Down up. After you. 769 01:10:32,932 --> 01:10:37,288 - Up there. After you. - Search here. Bravo. 770 01:10:37,491 --> 01:10:41,279 Miss' I didn't do it on purpose. 771 01:10:41,490 --> 01:10:45,528 - Look what I got. - Up down. After you. 772 01:10:45,728 --> 01:10:49,197 Up down. After you. 773 01:10:49,407 --> 01:10:51,921 Wait. I'll help you. 774 01:10:54,127 --> 01:10:56,163 Up down. After you. 775 01:10:56,366 --> 01:10:58,880 Up down. After you. 776 01:10:59,086 --> 01:11:03,317 - Up down. Next... -Ahh! "Damn yours"! 777 01:11:07,484 --> 01:11:09,474 Take off this nose! 778 01:11:09,683 --> 01:11:14,040 Are you telling me? Mind you, I'm leaving her... Okay, I'm leaving. 779 01:11:15,441 --> 01:11:18,274 > LET me in. 780 01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:23,511 > I'm exhausted. 781 01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:27,916 THE PHONE RINGS 782 01:11:28,118 --> 01:11:32,429 One moment. Stop it! I have my period tonight! Ready. 783 01:11:32,637 --> 01:11:36,994 I think I understand who did not respect the agreements. 784 01:11:37,196 --> 01:11:40,347 With my husband it hasn't "consumed" yet. 785 01:11:40,556 --> 01:11:44,673 I'm worn out! Does this seem simple to you? 786 01:11:44,874 --> 01:11:48,070 The situation is like this "Beauty and the Beast". 787 01:11:48,273 --> 01:11:53,346 Miss, I'm speaking to you as a woman to a woman. I've been with him all my life. 788 01:11:53,552 --> 01:11:56,623 I assure you that he won't even notice! 789 01:11:56,831 --> 01:12:00,221 It will do very quickly. It's so small! 790 01:12:00,430 --> 01:12:03,547 For her it's nothing it's important to him. 791 01:12:03,749 --> 01:12:07,947 Mrs. Pina' from woman to woman. I tried it but I can't! 792 01:12:08,149 --> 01:12:10,867 Is it clear? 793 01:12:11,068 --> 01:12:16,140 She is insensitive and vulgar! I'll tell you something. 794 01:12:16,346 --> 01:12:20,385 He has a signed commitment with me. If he doesn't respect it... 795 01:12:20,586 --> 01:12:23,384 ...I leave it at the mercy of the creditors. 796 01:12:23,585 --> 01:12:26,622 I'm closing because I've run out of tokens. 797 01:12:26,824 --> 01:12:28,815 Good evening ! 798 01:12:31,543 --> 01:12:36,615 -Come "let's remove this tooth". Damn me! - Which tooth? 799 01:12:36,821 --> 01:12:41,815 - You don't have your period? - Phantoms! But what a cycle! 800 01:12:42,020 --> 01:12:45,455 I have been in menopause for twenty years. Let's go ! 801 01:12:50,378 --> 01:12:55,895 I feel a little insecure. I'm going to ask for something strong. 802 01:13:01,015 --> 01:13:03,211 FANTOZZl MUMBLERS 803 01:13:04,054 --> 01:13:08,446 I would have a little problem. It's actually a big problem. 804 01:13:08,654 --> 01:13:11,566 That is, I... Nothing. 805 01:13:11,773 --> 01:13:15,891 I haven't done this in twelve years and I'm out of practice. 806 01:13:16,092 --> 01:13:20,688 - He has something strong to drink that you lift... - I'll take care of it. 807 01:13:20,891 --> 01:13:26,408 Two tablespoons of cantharides one of Alba truffle powder... 808 01:13:27,009 --> 01:13:31,606 ...black pepper' white pepper' chili pepper. - Chili ! 809 01:13:31,808 --> 01:13:35,596 - Piri-piri' black powder. - Black powder! 810 01:13:35,807 --> 01:13:39,720 - TNT. - But... TNT? 811 01:13:39,926 --> 01:13:44,761 - Nitroglycerin. - Nitro... Meh! -A little more cantharides. 812 01:13:44,965 --> 01:13:50,562 - A pineapple. - The fruit? - No a hand grenade and a short fuse. 813 01:13:54,682 --> 01:13:57,673 > Dll it for me. - Drink immediately. 814 01:13:57,841 --> 01:14:01,231 - Tracanno? - Right away. - As ? -Fast ! 815 01:14:05,520 --> 01:14:07,875 It has no effect. 816 01:14:11,998 --> 01:14:14,989 EXPLOSION 817 01:14:19,957 --> 01:14:21,708 BOAT 818 01:14:26,035 --> 01:14:28,424 the LUPl HOWL 819 01:14:39,391 --> 01:14:42,781 > Fantozzi' VENGHl! 820 01:14:51,508 --> 01:14:54,784 What did I miss for thirty years! 821 01:14:54,987 --> 01:14:57,979 I didn't imagine it would be like this! 822 01:14:58,186 --> 01:15:01,498 What have I lost! 823 01:15:04,185 --> 01:15:07,576 (Pina' I finally found it a real woman.) 824 01:15:07,785 --> 01:15:12,334 (Not someone like you with hair mouse-colored and with sewer breath.) 825 01:15:12,543 --> 01:15:17,855 (I wasted my life next to you. You're the shit, not me!) 826 01:15:18,822 --> 01:15:21,415 (Ugo is no longer yours.) 827 01:15:26,820 --> 01:15:30,335 It's an urgent letter. It must be sent immediately. 828 01:15:35,258 --> 01:15:37,534 What is it? But... 829 01:15:38,337 --> 01:15:40,328 One moment. 830 01:15:49,255 --> 01:15:52,406 That's all we have. 831 01:15:53,374 --> 01:15:58,128 (Silvani sings) "Tear me apart" but satisfy me with kisses..." 832 01:15:58,333 --> 01:16:01,484 You saw that it would be... 833 01:16:13,609 --> 01:16:18,283 "Pina and Ugo forever." 834 01:16:19,007 --> 01:16:20,998 What does it mean ? 835 01:16:28,925 --> 01:16:33,918 "I am committed to cheering the last days of the dying Ugo." 836 01:16:34,604 --> 01:16:37,721 "I will pay after intercourse..." 837 01:16:37,923 --> 01:16:41,915 "..Part jewelry and part with my widow's pension." 838 01:16:42,121 --> 01:16:44,920 "Your faith. Pina Fantozzi." 839 01:16:45,121 --> 01:16:47,078 But... 840 01:16:49,880 --> 01:16:52,075 Pina! 841 01:17:00,557 --> 01:17:03,150 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 842 01:17:04,876 --> 01:17:06,832 But... 843 01:17:08,355 --> 01:17:10,949 The letter! 844 01:17:14,634 --> 01:17:17,944 Stallion, here's your mare! 845 01:17:18,153 --> 01:17:20,541 HORSE NITRITE 846 01:17:22,152 --> 01:17:24,222 Stallion? 847 01:17:27,470 --> 01:17:30,461 My letter! Give me the letter! 848 01:17:30,669 --> 01:17:33,899 - The letter! - Don't go back to the "redfish"! 849 01:17:34,109 --> 01:17:37,817 I don't do it for the money! Now it's love! 850 01:17:37,988 --> 01:17:42,185 - Don't touch me, you infamous one! - Leave your wife! 851 01:17:42,387 --> 01:17:45,777 - Where is Fantozzi going? - Leave me! 852 01:17:45,985 --> 01:17:48,340 You hit me, you insult me... 853 01:17:48,545 --> 01:17:50,900 ...but I'll tell you again! 854 01:17:51,104 --> 01:17:53,220 Give it back to me! 855 01:17:53,424 --> 01:17:56,814 I won't give it to him! It's private property! 856 01:17:59,103 --> 01:18:01,662 - Hey ! - Please ! 857 01:18:03,981 --> 01:18:05,972 The letter! 858 01:18:08,141 --> 01:18:09,574 Aha! 859 01:18:10,740 --> 01:18:13,015 No! One moment! 860 01:18:13,220 --> 01:18:16,132 Just kidding, beautiful horses! 861 01:18:29,855 --> 01:18:31,175 Taken ! 862 01:18:42,292 --> 01:18:43,965 Another ! 863 01:18:49,291 --> 01:18:52,282 Right or left? Hey! Right. 864 01:18:57,608 --> 01:18:59,565 Taken ! 865 01:19:09,605 --> 01:19:14,075 - What happened? - There was a slab of ice and I rolled over. 866 01:19:14,284 --> 01:19:18,641 > Call a tow truck. > Yes. I load the barrels. 867 01:19:20,203 --> 01:19:22,114 > Here it is! 868 01:19:28,361 --> 01:19:30,317 I'm sorry. 869 01:19:30,520 --> 01:19:33,477 I "get stuffed". Here you are. 870 01:20:04,512 --> 01:20:08,220 I drank all the beer! 871 01:20:12,190 --> 01:20:15,227 > I can't speak. 872 01:20:18,748 --> 01:20:21,739 UNCOMPREHENSIBLE WORDS 873 01:20:23,707 --> 01:20:25,220 Watch out! 874 01:20:25,347 --> 01:20:28,339 BURP 875 01:20:34,585 --> 01:20:38,737 One moment! Wait for the train conductor! 876 01:20:39,383 --> 01:20:42,454 There's the letter! Have mercy! 877 01:20:43,263 --> 01:20:45,651 Wait a moment! 878 01:20:47,422 --> 01:20:49,537 It's the train to... 879 01:21:02,898 --> 01:21:06,413 "Dear Pina' I finally found it a real woman." 880 01:21:06,616 --> 01:21:10,291 "Not someone like you with mouse-colored hair..." 881 01:21:10,496 --> 01:21:14,489 "..And sewer breath. I wasted my life next to you." 882 01:21:14,695 --> 01:21:17,846 "You're the shit, not me!" 883 01:21:18,054 --> 01:21:20,363 "Not yours anymore Ugo." 884 01:21:21,173 --> 01:21:23,608 I'm very happy' Ugo! 885 01:21:35,410 --> 01:21:37,367 Pina! 886 01:21:37,809 --> 01:21:42,006 - Did you receive my letter? - Yes Ugo. - Have you read it? 887 01:21:42,208 --> 01:21:45,199 - No, I just opened it. - Give it to me! 888 01:21:46,367 --> 01:21:50,041 I'll read it to you. Sit here. 889 01:21:50,246 --> 01:21:53,363 In this letter... 890 01:21:53,565 --> 01:21:55,602 ...I write... 891 01:21:55,805 --> 01:21:59,081 My dear Pina... 892 01:21:59,284 --> 01:22:04,278 ...I discovered who the woman is most important thing in my life. 893 01:22:04,803 --> 01:22:08,238 The one I love the most. 894 01:22:09,681 --> 01:22:14,470 It's you with your silver hair... 895 01:22:15,120 --> 01:22:17,872 ...and the breath that smells of rose. 896 01:22:18,079 --> 01:22:20,434 If I could choose... 897 01:22:20,639 --> 01:22:25,508 ...I would like to go with you everything else in my life. 898 01:22:27,677 --> 01:22:29,667 It's the last day! 899 01:22:31,117 --> 01:22:35,234 < It was almost time for the final whistle < by the Supreme Arbiter. 900 01:22:35,435 --> 01:22:40,793 < Fantozzi thought he still could < conquer salvation. 901 01:22:40,994 --> 01:22:44,782 - Come on brother! "Sprint"! - I sprint. 902 01:22:44,993 --> 01:22:48,872 < Fantozzi got 2,500 masses < in his suffrage. 903 01:22:49,072 --> 01:22:53,429 < He wore a sackcloth that wrapped him < from the armpit to the scrotum... 904 01:22:53,631 --> 01:22:58,261 < ..and signed up for the most competitive ones < pilgrimages of penance. 905 01:23:03,468 --> 01:23:05,186 Ugo! 906 01:23:05,388 --> 01:23:07,345 Ugo! 907 01:23:08,587 --> 01:23:12,341 Permit. Ugo! 908 01:23:12,546 --> 01:23:14,980 Ugo, get up! 909 01:23:15,185 --> 01:23:18,381 You're not sick! 910 01:23:18,584 --> 01:23:23,021 They called from the hospital. You look great! 911 01:23:23,223 --> 01:23:26,136 They exchanged x-rays. 912 01:23:26,343 --> 01:23:29,380 - It's not you who has to die! - But... 913 01:23:29,582 --> 01:23:34,371 - Who has to die? - The priest who was hospitalized with you. 914 01:23:34,581 --> 01:23:38,619 Did you understand ? You don't have to die anymore! Ugo you don't have to anymore... 915 01:23:38,819 --> 01:23:44,416 Damn the "high" "unbolted"' "unhinged"! 916 01:23:48,657 --> 01:23:51,968 I'm not dying anymore! 917 01:23:54,016 --> 01:23:56,370 I'm not dying anymore! 918 01:23:56,575 --> 01:23:59,532 I'm not dying anymore! 919 01:24:40,245 --> 01:24:45,238 < At Fantozzi's funeral < there were the surviving colleagues. 920 01:24:45,443 --> 01:24:48,834 < They clung to the widow < to console her. 921 01:24:52,322 --> 01:24:56,110 They are always the worst they're leaving! 922 01:24:59,959 --> 01:25:03,953 We have missed our point reference point downwards. 923 01:25:08,877 --> 01:25:11,835 It was easy to feel like you were better than him. 924 01:25:15,436 --> 01:25:18,951 He was a scapegoat for all of us. 925 01:25:22,195 --> 01:25:27,063 I feel like I still have him in front of me to the eyes' in the vigor of the years! 926 01:25:28,313 --> 01:25:30,303 Che perdita ! 927 01:25:30,512 --> 01:25:32,900 < On his last trip... 928 01:25:33,111 --> 01:25:37,469 < ..non poteva mancare < the affectionate weekend companion. 929 01:25:37,671 --> 01:25:41,503 < His very personal cloud < da impiegato. 930 01:26:02,304 --> 01:26:06,297 My cloud has come too! La nuvola da impiegato. 931 01:26:35,296 --> 01:26:39,574 (speaker) The blessed souls hurry to board. 932 01:26:52,093 --> 01:26:54,003 Excuse me. 933 01:26:55,851 --> 01:27:00,048 - Miss, when are we taking off? - Siamo già partiti. -Ah. 934 01:27:02,490 --> 01:27:04,480 Everything is fine ? 935 01:27:12,648 --> 01:27:14,876 Scusi un momento. 936 01:27:15,086 --> 01:27:18,522 Dirotta proprio adesso che vado in Paradiso ? 937 01:27:18,726 --> 01:27:24,402 -Shut up or I'll break your face! - We are spirits' it can't hurt me. 938 01:27:25,524 --> 01:27:28,562 Oh my God, that hurt! 939 01:27:28,763 --> 01:27:31,881 It hurt me a lot. 940 01:27:34,282 --> 01:27:37,161 Do you know where they are taking us? 941 01:27:41,120 --> 01:27:43,680 Where is Mr. San Pietro? 942 01:27:45,999 --> 01:27:50,356 > Passed away! - Yes ? > Take off your shoes. 943 01:27:54,197 --> 01:27:56,472 I took them off. 944 01:28:24,429 --> 01:28:28,980 - Buddha! - Phantoms! - Listen doctor... 945 01:28:29,188 --> 01:28:34,546 Mr. Buddha' why I was hijacked here by you? 946 01:28:34,747 --> 01:28:38,740 Your missionaries they hijack millions of our souls... 947 01:28:38,946 --> 01:28:40,937 ...during earthly life. 948 01:28:41,146 --> 01:28:44,422 We even the score after the passing. 949 01:28:44,625 --> 01:28:47,582 Sorry, Dr. Buddha. 950 01:28:47,784 --> 01:28:53,539 I have laboriously conquered the Paradise from the other administration. 951 01:28:54,703 --> 01:28:58,491 Couldn't I take advantage of yours? 952 01:28:59,101 --> 01:29:01,661 Paradise doesn't exist here. 953 01:29:01,861 --> 01:29:06,650 Here you have to reincarnate in others lives until absolute purification. 954 01:29:06,860 --> 01:29:11,250 I've already had a lifetime quite repulsive. 955 01:29:11,458 --> 01:29:13,449 Couldn't it be avoided? 956 01:29:13,658 --> 01:29:17,729 Don't worry. It has many possibilities for new lives. 957 01:29:17,936 --> 01:29:20,815 Since you can choose... 958 01:29:21,015 --> 01:29:25,805 I would like to be reborn tall' thin' green-eyed and billionaire. 959 01:29:26,135 --> 01:29:30,844 Married to Claudia Schiffer' good classical guitar player. 960 01:29:31,054 --> 01:29:35,762 I'd like to ski' skate' being a mega president... 961 01:29:35,972 --> 01:29:40,283 ...and above all have a delicious "f...". 962 01:29:40,491 --> 01:29:44,085 You are not allowed to choose who turns the wheel. 963 01:29:44,290 --> 01:29:47,088 Is it the Wheel of Fortune? 964 01:29:47,289 --> 01:29:51,327 Excuse the spells typically Catholic. 965 01:29:51,529 --> 01:29:54,087 I have to spin the wheel, right? 966 01:29:54,287 --> 01:29:56,676 Now I do it. 967 01:29:56,887 --> 01:29:58,764 I go ! 968 01:30:01,886 --> 01:30:05,560 - Come on ma'am! SPINGHl! - That's it! 969 01:30:05,765 --> 01:30:09,758 - Good ! -One more effort. - SPINGH the lady! 970 01:30:09,964 --> 01:30:12,399 Good ! 971 01:30:14,642 --> 01:30:17,634 FANTOZZl Sl COMPLAINS 972 01:30:22,241 --> 01:30:25,631 > But start all over again? 973 01:30:25,840 --> 01:30:28,309 How lucky am I!